So have been having quite a good time lately, the doctor started me on a new tablet and it seems to be working quite well, he upped the dose last week and they actually seem to be helping. Anyway booked a appointment for a tattoo before Xmas and its on this Tuesday and I'm starting to freak out now. This always happens, I book something i really want it but then I start to worry and then chicken out at the last minute, I get so angry with myself. I can't go anywhere or do anything because my stupid brain screws it up. It's not like I'm scared of the tattoo, this is my 10th one so I'm pretty used to it now, the tattooist is really nice and I've been to her before so what is my problem????? I really want to go and if I cancel then I will be soooooo angry but at the back of my mind I have that annoying little voice saying go on just cancel it then you don't have to worry arghhhhhh I hate that voice so much!!!!!! I love my tattoos and this one is extra special as my family all put money towards it for my 30th bday. I'm having a oriental sleeve so it will take a good few sittings but I want it so bad, I have a problem with self harm, I have for years but atm kind of have it under control but I have a lot of scars on my arms, they are old and are fading slowly but because I have to wear a tee at work they are very noticeable. Tattoos can't really cover them but I hope that people will notice the tattoos rather than the scars as I know people see them and it makes them think of me in a negative way, a nutter, crazy, loony etc etc. I just need to get through the next few work days (always make my anxiety worst) and then Tuesday I need to shut the voice up and just believe that I can do it. Wish I wasn't so pathetic!

1 Comment
  1. Kiwanczyk 10 years ago

    You can do it. Just think about what u will be walking away with. And it is not a new experience for you. It is a familiar one. It\'s something you have done before a few times. Hang in there. If u cancel you will feel disappointed with yourself.

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