It finally happened ~ I fell completely apart last night and cried myself out. I'd had a long day with Zachary and appointments for us andthen came home to the silent, cold shoulder treatment from my Mom andthat was it for me. I went to my bedroom and cried until there was nothing left.
I'm having trouble remembering things, and it's no joke. I have to walk in and out of a room, retrace my steps in hopes that whatever I was about to do will come back to me. Sometimes it works, other times it doesn't. Yesterday I knew there was something I was supposed to do, but even now I cannot remember what.
I took Zachary to see his therapist yesterday (regarding the Asperger's) and I felt like an idiot because I couldn't think well enough to form complete sentences. Luckily for me she's a therapist, so when I told her the meds for my bipolar disorder were making it hard to speak she completely understood.Thank heavens for small favors! I really like this lady and how she and Zachary work together. I was proud of him because he even went alone to her office with her so that it was just the 2 of them for awhile. That tells me he likes and trusts her too. She wants me to get him tested psychologically to confirm her diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome. Shortly we're going to start seeing a doctor as well who works specifically on the needs of children like my son.
We also went to the Arts & Crafts store, but didn't have enough time to really look around. I'll have to go back another time to look around and see if anything catches my eye. Maybe this weekend we can all go.
So, back to falling apart ~ it's been building up for awhile now, and I'm glad it's over and out of my system. I'm still overly emotional and very tired, but usually bottoming out like that seems to start the trend of moving upward slowly, but sometimes it just lingers for however long it wants. Who knows? I'm not in control of this mad ride.
Goodnews on my Uncletoday. Yesterday he got moved to a really nice rehab facility nearby, and Ican go up and visit himquite a bit now. We're not sure how long he'll be there before he can come home, so we're going to take it day byday. Him living through all of this over the last 4 months is close to miraculous. Many, many timesI was sure it was all over for him, and I was wrong. I'm still praying though. It's hard to think just one day ata time,all these fearskeep slipping in;he's not going to make it, he won't want to live, he'll never walk again, etc… But I believe that he wants to get better and come home, and thatwill be his motivationthrough the whole rehabilitation process.
That's all from me for now. Ineed to structure my day so that I feel like I havepurpose, so now I'm goingto write alist of things that need to get done and then decide which ones I'm going to do. Wish me luck.