Where do I begin? In 2003, I met one of my best friends at vocational school. She was my world. She could make you laugh without even trying just to make sure that you were smiling. She was my world. She died of cancer a couple of years ago and my heart cannot heal. I think about her all the time, different songs, her old messages, post on my facebook wall, it hurts. She was my moon… We had this thing where she was the moon that guided us at night, I was the brightest star that would lead them home and our other best friend was the sun that shined bright in our lives. It feels like half of me is gone and I thought the half of me was taken away when my grandpa died but loosing a best friend is a different type of loss than losing someone in your family. It is hard. I miss her… She was there for me during the worst relationship that I have had in my life and now she is not here to share the best relationship in my life with me. She should be here…. Cancer fuckin sucks…. She should not be gone so soon. I see her in my dreams, not sure what that means but it has to mean something. I visit her every year, twice a year. Once on her birthday and the other on her death anniversary. Both times is hard. I take my blanket out the trunk that is just for me to lay next to her and talk to her. I tell her about my life and how school is going because she was my biggest supporters. My parents didn’t support me much then and sure does not support me now. I lost one of my biggest supporters and I hers. How does one come back from a pain like this?

1 Comment
  1. delane1 4 years ago

    My friend, it takes time to even start healing from that kind of loss. i lost one of my best friends when i was pregnant with my daughter, so i get what you’re going through. It’s definitely NOT easy. All i can really tell ya: when you need to visit her, do so; when you need to talk to her, do so; and maybe, one day, the grief and pain will begin to ease some. ***hugs***

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