I'm crying and I hate it!! I hate not being able to be strong. I such a weak person!! God why am I here?? To cry my way through life?? To never gain strength when I need it??
I just want to curl up and Die!! I have nothing to live for!!!!!
If only I could I could have someone to hold onto and empty my heart but no I have no one I trust that much. And those I love the most are the ones making me feel all of this.
My parents tore me down last night and blame it on their drinking, at least my mom did. Dad just went to play his game like he does every Wednesday and Sunday night. And Mom went in her room and left me to deal with my own feelings. You'd think they'd know by now that that's not the thing to do, unless of course you want me to slide into a deep depression. Too late!!!! Too damm Late!!!
I want everyone who attempted to help me in chat to know I truly appreciate it. There is only so much a voice and chat room text can do.
I have roughly an hour to get my s**t together before my dad is do home. I don't know what to do with myself besides cry, afterall I excell at that. If I had a nickle for every tear I've shed on the past 10 years, I be so rich. And if I had a penny for everyone in my life who gave a damm, I'd be broke.
I can't stand this pain…the tears just make it worse.
God, if you're not going to end my pain, give me the strength to do it myself!!!
It's moments like this I find it hard to believe there is a God.
Sorry if this triggered anyone. I'm really sorry
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I hope you know, it’s ok to cry. I can relate to your feelings, because every time I show a hint of weakness at home, I get called weak and a crybaby. It’s ok to not want to cry, but you have to sometimes let yourself cry. If this sounds insincere, I’m sorry, I’ve never been good at this. I also want you to know, there is a reason for living, and you shouldn’t throw that away for nothing. Trust me I know. I am CURRENTLY in the throws of wanting to kms and just give up. There is a reason for living, it’s just I can’t find it, and by your tone, you need to find one too… I hope you feel better, and stop beating yourself up about ever wanting to cry. It’s ok to cry, I just want you to know that.