Thanksgiving is officially looming. Ugh. I shouldn’t feel that way, I know. It is nice to see the family. Play stupid board games. Drink some Bailey’s on ice. Then drink a lot more Bailey’s on ice.

But it means going back to my mom’s house in Maine for three long nights.

That house is where my contamination problems kicked into high gear. It’s been 7 years since I’ve lived there, but I still have a terribly negative association with that house. It’s like the whole house a hot zone of contamination.

Ever see The Matrix? Where the agent tells Morpheus how much he hates the smell in the Matrix and that when he’s there he feels like he’s been all saturated and infected by it? Yup, that’s me at my mom’s house. Good times! You know… I was always cheering for that agent. I felt a kinship with him, and not just because I’ve always wanted to shoot Keanu Reeves too. Then again I also cheered for Ahhhrnold in Terminator, Hannibal Lecter in his escape scene and the mean blond kid from Karate Kid (he was just misguided!!).

Anyway, Thanksgiving at Mom’s should be a challenge yet again. I’m usually not too bad inside the house. I kind of embrace the filth. The real problem is getting myself and my things “clean” enough to leave. Can’t spread the contamination back to my place, right?

Talk about strategery. I plot out a trip to the dump for hours—getting out of Mom’s house in a “clean” way is like planning the invasion at Normandy or something.

At least my mom, sister and girlfriend will be there and they know about my OCD. I mean, the rest of my family all suspect I’m nuts, but those three know it’s a fact. And they do support me, God bless ‘em.

But good luck to all, and have a Happy Thanksgiving!