I feel like I give off the wrong impression sometimes. My natural reaction to stress is to distant myself from others. I do this as sort of a control thing. If I can't handle something going on in my life then I regain control of whatever I can. This usually is by me isolating myself, so everything that happens in my surroundings is controlled by me. It isn't to be mean, or that I don't care (which people often confuse it for) it's simply so that I can get a grip on what's happening and adjust to it. Often times I lose friends over this, because they see it as me simply not caring about them. I care about them a lot. It has nothing to do with how much I care. This is where confusion begins and friendships are lost. It's just the way I deal with things. I'm a very loving person. I tend to take on other people's problems, even though I wish I didn't. To me it's crazy that anyone would think that I don't care, when I do so much. Sometimes when I get really overwhelmed I'll shut my phone off fora few days just so I can be completely left alone. People get mad thinking that I don't want to talk to them, and when I explain that I need some time alone they usually just stop talking to be for good. This is how the majority of my friendships have been ruined. I wish things were different, but I also know that there are times where I just need to be alone. That's me. That's how I am. It isn't to offend anyone, it's simply to keep my sanity. I really wish some people would open their minds a bit more, and realize that we're all different and that's just the way it is. I don't act how people think I should act. I act like me. Take it or leave it.

1 Comment
  1. bluerosie 11 years ago

    I hear ya.  Things just get too overwhelming.  I know many other people have to do the same thing; hide away.  I long to hide away; I usually can't make myself do it completely, which only ends up making me explode.  But I always worry about what people will think or that I'll have to explain what's going on later, and I don't like having to talk about it.  There are many e-mails that have gone unread recently, though.  Only ones from my family; certain members who tend to be long-winded or short-sighted…It's not that I don't care; I just can't take it anymore.  Especially if the e-mail was also sent to other family members, then I make myself just figure…hey, if it's important, one of my sisters will tell me.  I often hate myself for it, though.  Good for you for actually making yourself take breaks!  I do wish that people would try to understand, though.

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