No one knows, or even understands, my need for performing, yes I know performing for talent shows are just popularity contests, and yes I know most singers came from well off families that could afford to do a studio recording, but is it so wrong for me to wish a lucky break would come my way? Is it so wrong to envy the people who get these breaks, and don’t realize how lucky they are?

I started singing when I was three years old, singing at the church my mom took me too, and she knew from that moment that singing would be a part of my life, but I do not think she realized how much of my life it would become. I jump at the chance to perform just to prove myself, but lately I have wondered…what is the point?

I pushed myself so hard in school, because I felt like if I could be a good singer maybe people would like me….but I made more enemies than friends, I got to college and it is the same way, I’m not a music major so I don’t fit in.

People always say, keep trying, you can do it, put your heart into it….well after 17 years of doing nothing but trying… I about want to give up…

Why should I keep trying, when nothing will ever come my way? Why should I try when I am always met with heartbreak, and no one understands how much it kills me? Why should I try when it is always a damn popularity contest?

I don’t understand it, I don’t understand why the people that have always gotten the breaks keep getting them, but the ones who would die happy with their one chance of spotlight will never get it.