I've thought about this stripping thing for a few days now and I've made up my mind. I'm not going to do it. I was reading a bit about the strip joint I was about to work at, and just storeis about strippers in general. Basically, I found out that the place I was gonna work at was popular especially on weekends because porn stars would show up during that time. I felt pretty uncomfortable reading about that, and I guess disappointed as well.

Like, I've been pretty excited about working as a dancer. It's like my chance to get paid for having fun. When I heard about the porn star thing, I thought about my boyfriend. Mainly because he's been working on his porn addiction. I thought about how he's gone so far with his porn thing, and how well he's done with quitting. He slips up every now and then, but it's an addiction. It happens. I used to smoke, and I slipped up a lot as well before I could finally just stop smoking. Now, I haven't been a "non-smoker" for long. Heh. Like, I just quit about 2 weeks ago, so even for me, there are chances that I might slip up too.

Anyway, I was thinking about this porn thing, and thinking about how I'd be working alongside of porn stars while my boyfriend is dealing with quitting porn. It just makes no sense for me to start getting involved with something that my boyfriend is trying to get rid of from his life. If I'm going to be a supportive girlfriend, thenI need to work WITH my boyfriend, not his addiction. But, it's difficult. I really like this job. It's soooo much fun, but it's also scary, and I guess that's part of the thrill I get from it. I love my boyfriend sooooo soooo much, and I want him to succeed wherever he wants. I don't want to fuck anything up. I just want him to be happy, and I want him to enjoy everything life has to offer.

With that said, the dancing thing is not an option. It's time to look in other directions. I can have fun in more than one way. If I want to have the thrill of danger, then I can ride a roller coaster, go sky diving, bungee cord jumping, the list goes on. I don't have to get involved with the atmosphere of drugs, sex, and violence.

Like, it's a manipulative industry for both men and women. The men because they're draw to these joints with the naked and pretty women who give them lap dances. but, the catch for the men is the amount of money they have to spend just to please themselves.

For the women, it's more like the job itself. Like, it's a pretty high paying job, and feels liberating to be able to walk around naked and feel sexy. Women like dancing, and this job pays women who dance practically naked. It's a really fun combination.

Sooo, I'm done with that topic. What's going on with me? Well, I've been sick for the past…..I dunno. 5 days? And I'm only getting worse. I had my mom come to my place last night. She made me soup and cleaned up around here a little, and gave me medicine, but nothing's working. I'm like, cold all the time, even though it's like 80 degrees out, and my head feels like a baloon 24/7. I can't even hear myself swallow, so whenever I drink some water, I feel like I'm drowning myself. It's weird, really weird.

I hate being sick, and this is the sickest I've been since I've known my boyfriend, and we've been together for 2.5 years. And it probably doesn't help that I've started my period. Sorry if this is waaaaay too much info. for you. I'm just blogging, and if you chose to read this, then you had no idea what was coming up. Heh.

It's a really nice day out. Clear skies, warm, sunny…..but I'm too sick to do anything! Someone whould totally come over and bring me food….indian food. ^_^

Uuuuuuggghhh. -___-

I want my mommy.

Geeeze, listen to me. I'm such a freaking baby sometimes. Hahahaa. I'm 21, I can take care of myself….right? Wrong! My boyfriend has left for school, I'm alone, sick, bored, and hungry, and I'm the biggest baby in my family.

I'm not even the youngest child, but I sure to get treated like I am. Hahaa. Maybe I should go for a walk, or make myself some soup….mmmmm, I think I'll stick with the chocolate. Hah.

Hope everyone's having a wonderful day! Enjoy the beauty of life! <3

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