So I go to the dr. today and learn that not only does he want me to have surgery on my broken wrist which is not healing correctly, I need to get a second opinion out of town, so now I am going to a large city a few hrs. away.

In addition to that, I had a fall about 4 days ago and badly messed up my ankle. I knew it wasn’t broken as I could walk (read "Hobble’) on it, but it is black and blue all over, very swollen, and in a Lot of pain. I leanred today, also at the same Dr., that it turns out on the inside part I broke part of the bone off, similar to the scaphoid section on the wrist I am dealing with now, also tore ALL of the ligaments completely, and on the outside part I have a Grade II tear of the ligaments, almost as bad. I am now in a air cast on the foot/ankle going half way up the leg. It looks like I will end up needing surgery on that too. I am so overwhelmed I cant even get past the wrist surgery, let alone another second one, on the foot/ankle. Also I had an ex- who had surgery of a similar type on her foot a few yrs. ago and went thru hell with it afterwards. Ugh. I need to be the man I was, to be able to be there to help care for my parents and to live my life; I have many irons in the fire. Instead I feel like my body is falling apart. I have to take major doses of pain meds just to make it thru the rigors of everyday life. I was coming to terms with needing surgery on the wrist but now this ankle being totally tore up has me feeling set back, depressed, and apathetic despite my best actions to try to stay upbeat, or at the very least focused and on point. To look at a flight of stairs and know there is no way just makes you feel So defeated and helpless.

Well it does feel a little better to get that out and vent atleast. Thanks for reading if you did.


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