I have had issues my whole life but did not know there was a name for it. I am 55 and have hidden my anxieties and compulsions all my life. I am a Christian and I guess I felt it was a secret sin that I had to cope with and overcome. Because of this, I look and act fairly normal. I think as kids with OCD, you want so badly to fit in or not stand out, that you cover, hide, mask – whatever. I have had bad things happen to me or my loved ones that has exacerbated what was probably a mild case. As a result of my husband's serious year long illness, I became depressed and sought help. How can it be if there is not a voice to it, it does not exist. The problem is, this tendency is fluffed off as eccentric, silly, overboard – everything but the crippling disorder it can be. My earliest recollections was seeing a dog defecate and being ballistic for months because I had seen something dirty. I lost so much weight, my parents feared for my health. I had a period of time when anything I said, i counted on my fingers and repeated it until it came out even, ending on my pinky. My brother had a serious accident while with me and that set me on a spiral of guilt. Fears ballooned and I became neurotic about safety. I have had cancer all my life – not really, but I might as well had because that is all I could think of. Every doctor's visit was a death sentence, until proven otherwise. After seeking psychiatric help and being on meds for 5 years, I now worry about not being worried. My most recent issues are intense cheekbiting and cuticle biting. I am a clinic manager and travel to multiple sites. Very stressful. I am also not dealing with my belongings. My garage and back bedroom are totally out of control. I can't throw things away. It is kind of scary writing all this down on paper. I am writing here to find people with these issues and how they have dealt with them or overcame them. Thanks for listening but most of all for understanding?