I dont think I am getting better. With all the meds im on and the drs i seem to be getting worse. I have no intention of trying to lose weight that i promised myself i would do. I look at my son and think "he is mine" "your a mom" and he is 9 and i still have not taken it in. I dont know who i am or what i want to do with my life. I am going to be thirty this year and im nothing. I dont want to here anyones advice. No one knows whats in my head what struggle goes on. I dont want to leave my house i dont want to leave my bed. I cant think of a reason to do so. Yes i know my son needs my but he doesnt need a messed up mother. He has already started with aniexty —–look what i have done to him. He watches me take 6 pills every day to end up like this. pretending to be someone im not i cant keep up the fake fisad. there is no one to help me. i have no friends if i wanted to take about something i have to blog or journal cause i have no friends that is sad …… closests friends are my dogs. I wake up every morning with stomach ache and headache. I have run out of hopes and dreams. I can not sit and watch a tv show and not think about my pathetic life. I live thru tv wishing some of those shows could be my life. I believe sleeping is the best part of life. I do not see life getting better …..i am lost..
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So Unwell
sadviolinist, , Depression, Child, Depression, Psychosis, Questions, Sleep Disorders, 3
I know its bad. My hair hangs in dirty, greasy clumps against my cheeks and neck. I can't remember...
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In Isolation
hopelessdreamer81, , Depression, Career, Depression, Relationships, Religion, 0
Sorry it's been so long. Here's an update. I'm still really longing for deep and meaningful relationships. Or people...
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Welcome Back, Anxiety.
Proanamia, , Depression, Anxiety, Career, Questions, 1
I've only been here at work for two hours and it's already kind of a crappy day…The reference librarian...
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Suffocation and Loneliness
OrangeTree, , Anxiety, Depression, Anger, Anxiety, Bipolar, Depression, Grief, Sleep Disorders, Therapist, 1
I haven’t written here in a long time but I think it’s alright now. A summary of what’s been...
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Ranting on the World
Vividnightmare, , Depression, Questions, 0
Warning – this rant could be considered offensive by those with a I.Q relative to a soap dish....
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Shutting Down
Di, , Depression, Career, Depression, 1
My Friday was shity out begging for food which would follow with a shity weekend of trying to fing...
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Dysthemia
Mathe4me, , Depression, Career, Depression, Therapist, Therapy, Weight Loss, 1
A few years ago I was seeing a therapist who was working on her Masters thesis and I was...
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Better news/conundrum/pain
sadjac, , Depression, Career, Domestic Abuse, Stress, Weight Loss, 1
Well I made it to class today.. on time too! On the bus to class, while travelling, I suddenly...
WOW..AS I was reading that it sounded like it was coming from my own head. except that i do not have a child and instead of dogs its my cats..my cats were looking at me with somuch compassion in their eyes as their mommy cut herself for the first time. stupid as it may sound, i think they, and only they stopped me from pressing a little bit harder of the razor. thank god for them
yes i thank god for my son and my dogs … when he is in school they are all i have when i am thinking about hurting myself my yorkie always knows it amazes me …. not to mention pet are reliable and dont give shitty advice