This is my first blog post. Ever. I'm not going to go back in time and recount everything that has happened so far. I'm sure that will come out as time goes on. Tonight I just need to talk about now.

My Brother-In-Law just dropped off my kids. They had spent the afternoon with their dad. We've been together for 12 years, married for 11, yet he couldn't even be bothered to bring them home himself. We aren't divorced yet and have only been separated since late September 2012, but today, he introduced his girlfriend, of the last two and a half years, to our kids who are 10 and 7 years old. She had her very pregnant teenage daughter with her.

My daughter (10) comes home tonight and says that when she walked in the house, the "other daughter" says, "that's my new sister!". I don't know how to process this and so the waterworks start flowing. She doesn't understand why. I can't tell her the ugly truth. The last thing I want to do is belittle her father or make her angry with him too. I have enough anger to go around.

So I pop a Xanax and head into the bathroom to cry it out, trying to hide it as well as possible. She knows, of course. She's a smart kid.

My son (7) hasn't really said much about any of this, or shown that he understands at all. I only hope that he is able to adjust as needed without too much undue weight being added to his little shoulders. He's a member of the "Banana Splits" Club at school, a therapy group for kids of divorcing parents, but he doesn't talk much about that either. I'd be lying if I said I didn't worry about the effect this is having on him. It seems that I'm the only parent worrying though.

The depression meds aren't always enough anymore and it's getting harder to keep my emotions in check all the time. The divorce is moving forward, but my attorney is being much more aggressive than I had anticipated. This is stressing me out too. I know this is going to make my husband very angry when he gets his copy of the Petition, but I'll save that for another post on another day.

For now, please just keep me in your thoughts. I can use all the positive energy I can get.

– WomanScorned 1/26/13

2 Comments
  1. takemeaway 8 years ago

    There is something missing in some men; thinking of others.  It is beyond my comprehension what your ex is thinking is an ok thing to do.  My ex has done many things during our mariage and our separation that I cannot understand.  His answer is that the kids need to know the truth.  He has always treated them as if they were adults.  My therapist says he is a narcicist and can not change.  I try not to blame myself for marrying him.  Take care of yourself.

     

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  2. Aswa 8 years ago

    Divorce and seperation always seem more difficult when there are children involved. 

    I feel for you and have been on both sides of this situation.

    Look after yourself and be honest (as appropriate) with your children about the situation and please go to a gp or a psychdoc to discuss your emotions.

    Positive energy coming your way WomanScorned.

    Peace, Aswa

     

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