This is my first blog post. Ever. I'm not going to go back in time and recount everything that has happened so far. I'm sure that will come out as time goes on. Tonight I just need to talk about now.
My Brother-In-Law just dropped off my kids. They had spent the afternoon with their dad. We've been together for 12 years, married for 11, yet he couldn't even be bothered to bring them home himself. We aren't divorced yet and have only been separated since late September 2012, but today, he introduced his girlfriend, of the last two and a half years, to our kids who are 10 and 7 years old. She had her very pregnant teenage daughter with her.
My daughter (10) comes home tonight and says that when she walked in the house, the "other daughter" says, "that's my new sister!". I don't know how to process this and so the waterworks start flowing. She doesn't understand why. I can't tell her the ugly truth. The last thing I want to do is belittle her father or make her angry with him too. I have enough anger to go around.
So I pop a Xanax and head into the bathroom to cry it out, trying to hide it as well as possible. She knows, of course. She's a smart kid.
My son (7) hasn't really said much about any of this, or shown that he understands at all. I only hope that he is able to adjust as needed without too much undue weight being added to his little shoulders. He's a member of the "Banana Splits" Club at school, a therapy group for kids of divorcing parents, but he doesn't talk much about that either. I'd be lying if I said I didn't worry about the effect this is having on him. It seems that I'm the only parent worrying though.
The depression meds aren't always enough anymore and it's getting harder to keep my emotions in check all the time. The divorce is moving forward, but my attorney is being much more aggressive than I had anticipated. This is stressing me out too. I know this is going to make my husband very angry when he gets his copy of the Petition, but I'll save that for another post on another day.
For now, please just keep me in your thoughts. I can use all the positive energy I can get.
– WomanScorned 1/26/13