I've decided to share the few notes I've posted in secret on FB when it comes to a certain someone in my life who's affected me in the last 6yrs,and my daughter in the last 3.
I've written many beautiful and not so beautiful in the past,but writting has deminished for me,so much had been taken..
I'm just wondering if there's anyone out there who feels anything slightest to what I do.
This one is called: Myself & I,written August 12,2010
Myself & I
All I can be,is ME. Realise there is no changing me,if you dont like that,then let me go completly.
You can put the blame all on me if it lets you live easily,its okay because i know i've lived honestly.
i like to think that my heart belongs to you,that i chose you and you chose me,that our love was meant to be for infinity.
but why is their a voice in my head saying this is wrong the tuggin on my heart telling me you're done?
when youve acted so hard so cruel to cool,to busy to strong and big for this life we were meant to live?
how can i make you see that we were meant to be? more then just a lesson more then just a test? but somthing real and high above the rest?
why wont that sinking feeling go away as i know in my heart that you never really wanted to stay? what can i do to make you see me and forget those who just pretend to me?
the ones that taint you and steer you away? can you promise me forever you'll stay and belive it with all your heart and think of it,hope for it,all day?
this life, this world i know is tough,but if we have each other that should be enough? maybe i am being silly but i am not nor have i been a fool,that word is to cruel and not you.
where is the boy i once knew? how do you do the things you do? i wish i could live like you,then maybe it wouldnt hurt me so much too.
I've accepted you for all that you are yes i tried to make you my star but can you blame me for falling for your charm? can you blame me for crying when there's harm?
why cant it be perfect like in the story books,like the couples on the street that have that specific look? how can you let the impressions ware us so thin?
is our love so wrong such a sin? is this your game or am i yours? why does it have to be such a chore? our young love brought us a sight,of love and passion and the night a world to hold into our arms..
.i just dont know who you are anymore. are we so lost? are we stuck? are our bridges really broken or were they there at all?
all i know for sure with no doubt is that i love you, never stopped loving you no matter how hard i tried,everytime i opened my heart up and cried.
you were there inside. the whole time. so what do i do now what can i do now what will you do now? will you carry on as you had before taintng us all even more?
will you belive what i've said and you denied to see? are we doing it for the right reasons to reach that harmony? or ..are you just playing me?
i love you its true
i can only be honest with you.