I have been off Paxil (Paroxetine) for six days now. I was on that medication for over a year. I know this is not a good thing to do…but I stopped taking it cold turkey. The withdrawls are easing everyday. I don't recommend anyone doing this unless they talk to their doctor. I chose to be off this medication.

The side effects I experience is odd, but normal as to what I've read. When the lights are on, they seem so bright, I sometimes have to squint. Even when the lights are bright, it's still difficult to 'see'. Eye sensitivity is the best term I've come up with.

I also have been experiencing 'mind zaps'. This one is a little more difficult to explain. It feels like an electrical jolt inside my head. I just experienced one while typing this. It's like being dizzy, only being inner dizzy..okay, that doesn't make much sense. It feels like when it happens, I have to blink my eyes to be 'aware' again. If anyone knows or has a little understanding of what I am trying to say, I would love feedback.

I haven't had headaches, although I've experienced the 'hangover' effect. I have been resting a lot, not so much fatigued. I get up in the morning, and not necessarily 'force' myself to do stuff.. I try to stay motivated, positive, and energetic.

My appetite has changed a bit. It's hard to eat.. I am not hungry. But..late at night, I will lay in bed watching a movie or wake up from sleep, craving food.

I've dealt with panic and anxiety my entire life so far. I am learning to accept it. I know, that I will never rid this…I consider it a challenge. I may say that now.. I know if I have a panic attack, I will be saying very negative words towards panic and anxiety.

In conclusion of this blog, I am just thankful for myself. I chose to be off this medication because I Do Not Want to be on medication anymore. I am tired of switching drugs. Personally, I feel they are nothing but a band-aid. They don't treat my disorder.. they hide it for awhile. I am seeking natural remedies. I still take my Xanax every now and then..only for emergency use, or when I feel I need to take the edge off.

My family and friends have been supportive of my decision. I did go through suicidal thoughts.. wait.. not necessarily 'suicidal thoughts' but I wanted to 'hurt' myself. For example, I just wanted to take a steak knife from the kitchen, and just stab my hand millions of times. I didn't do it, because I care about myself. But dang..those negative thoughts can be very overwhelming. I am thankful that I am overcoming the withdrawl symptoms as well as staying positive. I see a future. I am no longer depressed. Yes, I still deal with anxiety, but my panic attacks have slowed. I am just writing this, because it makes me feel good, and maybe there's someone out there that can relate to what I am going through. I am just a regular girl..well, not girl, I am 26 years old, college student, still living at home, trying to succeed in life by attending college to achieve a great future. I am just me. :o)