So I'm thinking about doing it. Telling my parents about Dee (my boyfriend) and the whole pregnancy deal. It's been keeping my on edge. BUT I want to have my shit together and I want my parents to see me doing well. So that it doesn't go disasterously. BUT it will go disasterously. I just know it. I've lied to them in the past and also been a huge burden throughout the years. They see me as a screw up and there will be periods of time that I am not, but overall that's how they see me. But Dee is a great man. He may not be physcially or statusly what they have in idea for me, but he's the right guy. He treats me well, he makes me feel good, and I love being with him. He's the love of my life and he's the reason that this baby is in me. Clearly, (although I am never spirtual so this might be the only time you hear this) God had a plan for me. He's giving me this baby to say "WAKE THE FUCK UP THIS IS THE RIGHT GUY FOR YOU AND HE WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU AND LOVE YOU". I've had relationships and love, but all of them walk away, even when I beg them not too. Dee says and I believe him and he is even willing to go to the courhouse when I say the word get a marriage licesnces and then get his pastor and have us a wedding right in his own house. Which is what I will do as soon as I let my mom and dad know I'm pregnant because I know all funds of payment will be taken away, they will no longer support me and I will be shunned by the family. I just know it. I know it's going to break my heart walking away from them when they say "pick us or him" and I will pick Dee. I want to for the baby and too be free. I',m always under their thumb and doing what they expect me to do because its what they want for me. But I want things for myself. I am an adult. Its time to start acting like one.

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