So I've noticed in the last few months that I get extremely angry with very little provokation. I've always had a temper, but this is unusual even for me. The littlest things makethis horrible rage well up inside me. I feel like I could just lash out at someone and I have to get the anger out somehow because it feels terrible. At these times I think very negatively of whomever I'm mad out, thinking they're an idiot and I don't like them and I don't even want to see them or hear their voice. This last happened on Sunday when there was a dinner at church that I didn't know about. I didn't eat anything because of my strict diet. I asked Mom if I could go home, but she wouldn't let me because they supposedly weren't going to take long. It took about an hour and a half. I was so angry. First of all, how can it take that long to eat? Second, if someone in your group is waiting on you and doesn't eat that food, why wouldn't you try to hurry? I feel bad if someone is waiting on me. If I'm the last one done when eating out, I'll just take the rest home with me so they don't have to wait. So why would do that?

Stranger yet is how angry it made me. Sure, it was annoying, but that's some of the worst anger I've ever felt in my life. More like a violent rage. It was all so strange. I'm sure I've been through worse, so why was I so angry? I looking to try to get a job I really want soon, and I'm afraid this horrible anger will end up ruining everything for me. I don't have the ability to see anyone for it at the moment, so of course no answers. It's just kinda scary.