Soo, I have written a letter that I will email to my parents explaining everything. I am terrified as hell. Working on reading it over. I wanted to share this letter to see what others think of this or any opinions.

Dear Mom & Dad,           

            I was trying to find a time to do this face to face, but there’s never a right time. It seems either way it’s going to interfere with something always. There is no easy way of saying this and I know a letter is not what you want. I’ve been trying to find a way to tell you and it’s been eating me alive each and every day, I know I’ve disappointed you and let you down a lot. I am sorry that it has to go this way. I didn’t want to say anything too quickly because I want things to be good between us. This is the only way that I can say everything.

            I’m pregnant. I know this is not what you wanted. I know this is not what you expected. I thought about all the options I have. After going to my first ultrasound, I know this is what I want to do. I want to have this baby and I am excited for this baby. It’s going to be amazing. I am 14 weeks along my due date is August 8th.

            Darrell is the father. He’s amazing and really well respected in this town, with his work, and at the church that he belongs to and volunteers as the sound tech. I’ve met people at his church and other friends too. People love and respect him very much, and I know he will make a good father for this baby. I know he is not what you had in mind for me, but he’s great. He is not someone I thought I would be with, but I am so glad that I met him and that we are raising this baby together. Because I want to raise the baby with him and he does too, we’ve talked about the idea of getting married; which I believe is the right thing to and what I want too. I know that you are going to be more than angry and upset with me. If there is a time and date that works, we would like to take you out to lunch or dinner. That way we can all sit down and talk, as well as you can get to know him too.

            I should have told you sooner, but I wanted to make sure I had a plan. At first I didn’t want to keep this baby. Things would be better off. I could have a good relationship with you both and move on with my life. But I couldn’t do it. This is a living thing in me, a baby. It’s a miracle of life and it opened my eyes to everything in life. It opened my eyes to let me know who I want to be and what I want to do with my life. Although this is all so fast and it was unplanned, in a way, it’s a miracle. It’s forcing me to be an adult, a parent, and to really have a purpose in life. I am going to be a mom and I hope that you will be in this baby’s life. I understand if that is way too much to ask for. I understand if you don’t want me to be apart of the family anymore.

            Also, you no longer have to pay for me anymore. Darrell and I have been covering every angle that needs to be covered. I applied for my own health insurance; I will be getting a job at Boys and Girls Hope this summer in St. Cloud, and I will be applying for financial aid at St. Ben’s. If it does not work out at St. Ben’s due to financial aid, then I will apply for St. Cloud University where they offer many programs, scholarships, and financial aid to students with children. I want to finish school and earn a degree. Just because I am having a baby does not mean I am going to throw my life away.

            I know I’ve made a huge mistake of lying to you and not telling you sooner, but I am working on being the person I want to be. I will take full responsibility for my mistakes. I am going to have this baby. I am going to do things right. I know you are going to want to cast me out of the family. I understand. I know you are going to be furious. I am sorry that I have told you all this through a letter.  I wanted to do this face to face, but I know it’s also going to go down with a lot of yelling and I wouldn’t be able to say all this because it would just be me crying and that would not do any good for something like this. I wanted to be able to say all this without that. I am sorry and I hope that through time we will be able to sit down face to face all together and talk. If that’s not possible, I get it.

            I have attached the ultrasound pictures to this. They’re amazing to see. During the first ultrasound that’s when I realized that I cannot abort or give this baby up. I want to raise this baby inside me along with Darrell. I have a life in me that I am responsible for and that’s something incredible. During my ultrasound I started crying. It was beautiful to see. It made me think of you both. It made me think that I want to raise my baby like you both raised me. I want to watch it grow and become an adult no matter what path it chooses to go in life. I can’t wait to be a mom and I feel like this is something that I was meant to do more than anything else in life. I don’t think I would be strong enough to make a decision to keep it if I hadn’t been raised by the two of you. You both have taught me a lot when I look back at everything and I hope that I turn out to be a good parent for my child. I would love your support, but I know because of my choices in life, that this may be too much to ask for.

            Thank you for raising me and giving me such a wonderful life.  I am sorry for the way things have gone, I am sorry for lying and letting you down. I have made multiple mistakes and learned many lessons. The amazing part of this mistake is that I am going to be a mother. I want to have a family. I want to get a degree and job so that I can provide a good life for my child. I am willing to work for it and I am working for it everyday. I know I should have done it differently, but this is how it turned out and I am going to do this.

            I love you mom and dad. I am sorry for the way things are, but I hope you will stay in my life. I will understand if you don’t.

Sincerely,

Zoey