Sorry it’s been so long…
I don’t mean to ditch out on you guys. I have been doing better lately, for the most part, and I really should stop in to say so.
A lot has been happening. I have a piece up in a display window, and still no scheduled date for the B1E thing, but I have a show at Holy Mountain BDSM Temple the first Friday in March. I went from being the official photographer of Holy Mountain to be offered a gig there as a Dominatrix. Which I am seriously considering… I would still be the official photog, of course.
I love the place, and I have met some amazing people there. The models/Dommes I work with are incredible women, and I have long felt lucky to have gotten such a break. To being doing TFP shoots with such amazing women… all artists and scholars. I would not be considering the place if it were some stereotypical dungeon (nothing against that kind of thing – it would just be too much for me, and it’s not really my shooting style). HM’s an art studio as well as a BDSM playland, which makes it a good fit. We have cocktail parties that get pretty wild (no sex, of course, just floggng and such), and I am getting one of these parties thrown for me next month! I will be the birthday girl at a freaky ass gala – yay!
And, a little extra money would be nice. I mean the hourly rate is awesome, but I wouldn’t be working shifts, just sessioning here and there, when I can, But, it would still really help me afford camera sh*t I need. And, to be honest, it is really fun to flog people.
And, no, (for those of you who are wondering) there is NO prostitution involved (you can make a philosophical argument about that, as people do get off on it, but legally, it’s not prostitution, and I don’t mine kicking ass for money).
I’m home from the holidays, and relieved to be here. I had a great time, but I always want to be in my "forest of solitude." Charlie came out for Xmas day but had to leave the next a.m. for work. All the same, I was happy he wanted to come along, and it all went really well. But even in good company, if I am too far from my "forest of solitude" for too long, I turn into a pumpkin.
My nephew loved the game I gave him. That made me very happy. Everyone seemed to dig their gifts, which is a small part of the overall X-mas experience, but it’s always nice when you get something right.
I really love my family. I know that sounds like a pretty basic statement, but I had a lot of problems with them for years. I used to really hate my mother (pretty well earned hate, at that), but we get along now, and it feels pretty good. I mean, someday, the people we love will be gone, and when we look back on wasted time, it doesn’t really matter much who was wrong or who was right. It just matters that you love the people you love, and every minute matters – even the seemingly unimportant ones. I’ve lost a number of loved ones over the years. I would do anything to spend even a few more minutes with some of these people. Even the most quiet, seemingly purposeless moment… because all of it has a purpose.
We may not always realize that in the moment, but it’s true.
And, Ace, thank you for talking me through another random freak out. You have saved me from myself many times, and I would be lost without you. You know I am always here for you, too.
"Do you realize
That everyone you know
And instead of saying all of your goodbyes…
Let them know you realize that life moves fast
It’s hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn’t go down
It’s just an illusioncaused by the world spinning round"
(The Flaming Lips, "Do You Realize?")