Here is something I wrote to someone who means the world to me. If you don't believe in love, that you could find someone to complete you, I'm here to tell you I didn't either. And I found it. And I'm anxiously awaiting this man's decision on whether or not he chooses to look past my faults and be together.

It's hard to imagine life without you. It would be somber. Meaningless. In the end, I ultimately want you to be happy. But I know we can still be happy together. We have a connection that is unparalleled. We are soulmates. If we part, we will live the rest of our lives forever missing a piece of ourselves: each other. I know you're hurting. I know you're angry. I know you hate what I've done, and I do too. But know this. Time has the capacity to heal many things. As does therapy, talking about your feelings, and open and honest communication. If this life blesses me with another chance to be at your side, I will not squander it. I will do everything in my power to make you feel secure, safe, loved, and faithful. I will do anything you ask of me with no hesitation. You are worth that and so much more. You deserve the moon, the stars, the trees, all the things I could only hope to give to you. All I can give is my love, my heart, and myself. And you can have all of it. For the rest of my life, you will always have it. Even though the undertone was somber, I had a beautiful day with you today. And I think you did too. It's just proof that we can be, we absolutely can be. Everything will not magically get better if we get back together. But at the very least, the cosmos will be aligned and the universe will be as it should. And with time, I not only believe we can get back to where we were, but we can be so much better. I won't go down without a fight. Because you are the most beautiful, most radiant, ethereal, glorious being that has ever blessed my miserable existence. An existence that without you, will never be complete again. We will both never find this again. We will go through the rest of our lives missing the one true love we ever had. The one thing that made life worth living, at least for me. The man that gave me hope where there was none, who made me motivated when I had nothing, who was my strength when I didn't have any, who carried me when I fell, who ultimately enriches my life and makes it worth living. Who I would never marry, never raise children with, never grow old with, never go through life's adventures if we part. I would lead a dismal existence. I would be missing my soul. Life would lose its purpose. For what is better in this life than to share it with the one who completes you. The world was made for two. For us. For you and I to be. The taste I've had of this world without you. Landed me in a hospital for days. How could I lose you for a lifetime and go on? The mind can play tricks on you. The heart never, ever, lies. This I know. This I have lived and experienced many times. I am flawed, I am weak, I am human, I have fell and will continue to fall many times. But I love you, so deeply and so truly, so purely. I'm asking you to place your faith in something that once lit up your world. In someone who wants each breath they take to be taken with the intent of doing something each day to make your world brighter. To be the one who makes your life better. You deserve so much. Everything. Please let me be the one to give you as much as the world can offer. If you ever believed in us, if you ever thought we would make it until the end of our lives, if you even have a tiny spark of hope that we can be together, place your faith in it. I will not, I will not, I will not, I WILL NOT, let you down like this ever again. I will not go quietly into the night until you know this. If we are to part forever, I will go quietly into the night. For that will be my existence. The darkest night that ever was. A glaring, abysmal, cavity of darkness. A hole from which I will never climb out of. I will die. Maybe not physically, but every part of me will be dead. Nothing will break this. If we part, I will live each day until I remembering today, the last time I kissed your precious lips and looked in your honey eyes. I will die over and over again, over and over each day because that is what you're worth. I will torment myself with your face in my head, your name on my lips, forever. Every day. Because this is what you are to me. This is what you're worth. I will carry your heart forever, my love.

1 Comment
  1. onelyric 6 years ago

    For some reason these words came to me when I read your blog….I wish for your hopes and dreams to all come true……

     

    Free fall down into the unknown
    give you my heart and relinquish my soul
    it's best for what life shall bestow
    so I take a big step in the unknown

    Never look back, for this is the choice
    don't question myself, and keep my mind poised
    take a look up, thank god and rejoice
    because the truth is, I know I made the right choice

    So I follow the path and forget the past
    this devotion and emotion, I'll make sure it lasts
    with passion so wide and a love so vast
    pain and sadness will be things of the past

     

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