I hadn't seen my neighbor for quite awhile, so I went over to check on him. To my surprise he opened his door and a flood of emotions came pouring out. I stood thinking to myself "how many of us have had these feelings".
My heart broke for him. He couldn't get out of bed, couldn't leave his house and his sleep was nile. His mind racing, he didn't know where his future was heading ( he is 71) dismal he thought. His depression was dark and his thoughts racing toward suicide. Oh how I knew every emotion he was feeling. He had served his country with honors. Alone with no family , no children, no friends.
When I went back home I sat on the porch thinking of how many people deal with mental health, how misunderstood it is. The lack of programs, and professionals to help those in need that have no where to go. How many have to lose thier lives or even suffer day to day.
I understood his words, his feelings and his lack of positive thoughts. I find that my siblings have let me go. My children to busy because they don't want to deal with my ups and downs. Friends who try hard but sooner or later drift away because they don't know what to say anymore. And yes those thoughts of being alone dig in and let my mind get dark with depression. I thought as I looked out over a green field how many in this world think those thoughts , feeling alone, and desperation sets in. My heart felt heavy.
Just to understand, not seeing the depression but understanding it enough to care to reach out and give just a small part of themselves to make another feel as if their life means something.
Where does it start and when will it end. How does society help so many in crisis. There has to be something better then handing out drugs to mask the pain. I try to be an optimist. But then ….I think , here I am. I am one of many………