This is the second time i’m writing this–my pc didn’t like the first time, evidently, and deleted it.  *sigh  So, here i go, again….wooooosssssssssssssssssssssaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh  For those of you who may not’ve read, i lost my daughter (23) on Wednesday–found out Thursday.  From what i’ve been told, it was probably due to a drug overdose.  She left behind her precious son (4), as well as several of us adults.  In recent months, Shelby and i were communicating a lot more, and i really felt like she was trying to make a genuine step in the right direction with her life.  Turns out it was pretty much all one huge lie.  My daughter was one to manipulate people…and since i’m this far away, she took advantage of the fact that i wanted to be a part of her life and know my grandson.  No, i’m not forcing any blame, here, just stating a fact.  i love(d) Shelby.  

Regardless of what she thought she knew, i tried to protect her, provide for her, and be available to her, before i found out how deep that side of her family’d dug their claws into her.  Her fiance’ (Anthony–aka the sperm donor) and i have been speaking daily, the last few days, and i’ve learned a lot more about my daughter.  As soon as the hearings were done, between her father and i, her father and his parents basically left her out to dry and didn’t do a thing for her.  This was not her first overdose, either.  This was at least her fourth.  *sigh  Why couldn’t someone notify me?  Am i that scary to talk to?  For goodness’ sake!!!!!  That boy deserved more….he deserved more time with his mother, to actually learn how precious she was, too.  i’m tired of games…i want things to be cut’n dry, black’n white.  i want to know who/what my daughter was, what she did, etc.  i dunno if that’ll ever happen, but if it takes the rest of my life, i will do everything in my power to keep my son and grandson away from this shit.  God help me!!!!!!