There is so much on my mind. So many things are just crazy. I know I am lucky in some ways but I am so frustrated. I wish there was some way to get away from it all. I want peace, I want to know how to deal with everything. The world around me seems to be almost insane and I wish there was someone that could help me find a place of stability. I am alone, and I have never done well in relationships. I want someone to hold my hand and help me through this life. The sad thing is wanting doesn't get you anything and I have tried so hard to find someone. I have tried clubs, on line, etc. and I keep meeting these guys who jerk me around. They treat me as a convenience. I am tired of trying and I am so desperate that men smell the desperation and treat me like crap. I am tired of it and I have to accept my loneliness. I am thankful I have my kid. She is the only reason I think I haven't totally lost it, but I really wish that I could feel the security of knowing that I had a stable healthy romantic relationship. My ex husband didn't want to have a child with me. His intention like most men was to just use me up and moved on. I got pregnant and he told me he didn't want it, I later miscarried and afterwords I felt really suicidal. I really wanted to try it but he stopped me. Three months later he willing tried to get me pregnant, but after I had the baby he told me he resented me for wanting her. He pulled away from me more and more until I couldn't take it any more. It was like living with a zombie. Sometimes I hate him for the way he treated me but then I remember that he has given me my reason for living. No matter how hard things get I have to be strong for my kid. I have to take care of her and provide for her.
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I don't know
NuNu06, , Depression, Anger, Career, Child, Depression, Relationships, Stress, 2
I fuccn hate everything and everybody. i fuccn hate life also. I have 2 beautiful children but im not...
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MORE BULLSHIT ADDED TO THE MIX!!!
synn222, , Depression, Child, Questions, 0
so today i went to the boys school to pick up their cume records….Ive had the secretary working on...
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Social problems and the rest
solitary_siren, , Depression, Anxiety, Depression, Relationships, Social Anxiety, Stress, 0
Stuff has happened since my last blog post. My boyfriend's vile father came to stay with us to 'do...
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My horrible week-turned out for the best
naomijane, , Depression, Addiction, Anxiety, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Relationships, Suicide, 1
Well my holiday was a disaster..boyfriend was really 'closed' and moody the whole trip, not talking like he usuall...
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Mood… suddenly sad
Solo_Hans, , Depression, Child, Divorce, Relationships, Therapy, 1
It was 20 years and one day ago on the eve of the 8th anniversary of the engagement that...
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Strange, detailed, slightly odd dream
TessErin, , Depression, Anger, Anxiety, Sex Therapy, 0
After my nap and a very…detailed,strange dream I feel…weirded out I guess. I know dreams don't carry much…truth but...
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I hate not being able to sleep….
Mz_Unda_Std, , Depression, Anxiety, Career, Child, 1
I have had so much on my mind lately it's not even funny. I hate the ppl i work...
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Blog #8 – The Past WILL Haunt You
XLunaX, , Depression, Sleep Disorders, 0
I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. Yesterday, I got into a GIANT fight with Johnny, but...