There is so much on my mind. So many things are just crazy. I know I am lucky in some ways but I am so frustrated. I wish there was some way to get away from it all. I want peace, I want to know how to deal with everything. The world around me seems to be almost insane and I wish there was someone that could help me find a place of stability. I am alone, and I have never done well in relationships. I want someone to hold my hand and help me through this life. The sad thing is wanting doesn't get you anything and I have tried so hard to find someone. I have tried clubs, on line, etc. and I keep meeting these guys who jerk me around. They treat me as a convenience. I am tired of trying and I am so desperate that men smell the desperation and treat me like crap. I am tired of it and I have to accept my loneliness. I am thankful I have my kid. She is the only reason I think I haven't totally lost it, but I really wish that I could feel the security of knowing that I had a stable healthy romantic relationship. My ex husband didn't want to have a child with me. His intention like most men was to just use me up and moved on. I got pregnant and he told me he didn't want it, I later miscarried and afterwords I felt really suicidal. I really wanted to try it but he stopped me. Three months later he willing tried to get me pregnant, but after I had the baby he told me he resented me for wanting her. He pulled away from me more and more until I couldn't take it any more. It was like living with a zombie. Sometimes I hate him for the way he treated me but then I remember that he has given me my reason for living. No matter how hard things get I have to be strong for my kid. I have to take care of her and provide for her.
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Absent in Body and Spirit
ThePanther, , Depression, Anxiety, Depression, Grief, OCD, Personality Disorder, 0
So, I really haven't been on Depression Tribe lately. I really couldn't say if that's a good thing or...
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Living In A Dream World…
thebadkitty, , Depression, Depression, Questions, Relationships, Schizophrenia, Sex Therapy, 0
I know what Keys means about not feeling real (I just read her last blog). When I’m manic, that’s...
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no place is home
justfay, , Depression, Anxiety, Career, Child, Depression, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, Suicide, 5
I don\’t even know where to start… Wow! My past… Divorced with 2 adult children and a grandchild. I...
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im just tired
dumb.ass.bitch, , Addiction, Anxiety, Depression, LGBT, OCD, Teens, Uncategorized, Wellness Tips, 3
Im tired of being bitched about behind my back Im tired of being laughed at Im tired of feeling...
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Thoughts on my Birthday
RemBlossom, , Depression, Anxiety, Grief, Personality Disorder, Relationships, Religion, Stress, 1
So today is my birthday. I am now 20. I've been sort of having an ambivalent battle over my...
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Scariest feeling in the world
AloneForever, , Depression, Anxiety, Child, 2
keep getting this scary feeling and it's the worst feeling in the world. It's only when i'm outside at...
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What I have come to realize
Tali_G87, , Depression, Anxiety, Career, Child, Eating Disorder, Relationships, Self Esteem, Sex Therapy, Therapist, Weight Loss, 1
Well, I have remained single since my last post. It's something that when asked I may say I love...
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Black
imogen, , Depression, 0
Rolling stones- paint it black . I see a red door and I want it painted black No colors...