Toxic positivity or sometimes positive toxicity is a dysfunctional approach to emotional management that happens when people do not fully acknowledge negative emotions, particularly anger and sadness. Source Wikipedia
Toxic positivity, at first glance, may not seem unhealthy. However, this form of communication can be harmful as it can cause shame, feelings of guilt, and the prevention of human emotional growth. It is a form of gaslighting. Gaslighting is defined as “a technique that undermines your entire perception of reality.
Often, toxic positivity is a trait exhibited by the person who is in a relationship with a narcissist; the belief that a positive mindset is the best way to deal with problems, even when they are being gaslighted or lied to.
5 Ways You Can Respond to ‘Toxic Positivity’
“Recognizing I’m sad or frustrated helps me process my feelings.” …
“All of our feelings are OK to feel.” …
“My sadness and anger won’t last forever because all emotions are temporary.” …
“Grieving the things I’ve lost helps me work toward a more fulfilling life.”
Remember that your feelings are always valid, even if no one else or someone else doesn’t understand how you might feel.
It is powerful when you accept that you don’t have to explain your feelings to a person who uses toxic positivity / gaslighting as a weapon.
Remember what Dr. Ramoni says to do when dealing with this tactic : do not defend yourself, explain, or personalize their words!
You are valid good enough human being. You are and were always good enough!
It is your job to protect yourself from toxic positivity and gaslighting! It is okay to put yourself first to get out of these horrible conversations and situations! It is a form of emotional abuse and isn’t good for you!
Can you give me an example of a scenario where positive toxicity is being used?
Yes, I can.
I person can be getting over a break up and tell a friend that they are sad about it. The “friend” might say. “I don’t see why you would miss him. He isn’t good looking. You will find a better looking man.”
The friend with a broken heart only wanted her “friend “ to listen and care. She didn’t need to hear that her friend thought that her former relationship person wasn’t handsome. The way a person looks has not bony to do with how you feel about them if you have emotional depth.
Another example, a person had a bad day. They tell another person that they had a rough day. The person says, “You don’t have any real problems. Don’t worry be happy.”