Almost all of the results of my Friday morning stupidity are finally cleaned up. Jim cleaned the glass off the floor in the entry hall Friday afternoon, but there was still plenty of shattered glass on the bookshelf itself. I cleaned that up a bit over two hours ago. I’ve had a lot of emotional reactions to my behavior, and the behavior of others. This is one of the few times I’ve felt embarassed. I don’t think I have any excuse for behaving as I did.
Anyway, the only remaining signs of my tantrum are a blank spot on the wall in the den where there used to be a clock, an empty spot on the door of the top shelf of a bookcase where there used to be a pane of glass, a white spot on the tip of a ceramic dragon my mother-in-law gave me a few years ago (I couldn’t find all the pieces to finish gluing it back together), a messed up door jam on our bedroom door, and a whole lot of drops of blood on the hall carpet, leading through the bedroom to the bed.
While I was cleaning up the glass, my son was watching fan movies on YouTube, like Batman vs Gremlins, my daughter was babysitting a 9-year-old girl a few miles away, and my wife was baking banana nut bread in the kitchen. She looked insanely sexy, too. Still does, even though I don’t think she would agree. She’s never had very much ego when it comes to her looks.
She’s wearing a form-fitting pink tank top and grey sweat pants. The sweat pants ride lower on her hips than the tank top reaches, and her panties are too small to show over the waste of the sweats. This leaves a delicious band of flesh exposed around her waste. It’s not a look everyone can pull off, but she’s got the body for it. Her stomach is flat and her hips are sensual. To top it off she got her hair done this morning. It looks like it is made of sunlight. The whole result is a constant erection for me. Can’t do anything about it, though.
The combination of the shame of cleaning up the broken glass and the frustration of seeing my wife be all hot was too much for me. I started crying. I had no desire to explain that to my son, so I went to the bedroom to lay down. I bawled like a baby for a while, then laid there in the dark, unwilling to show myself. I was in there for just over two hours, and just got up to eat something.
I looked at the beanie weenies and said to her, "Thank you for dinner."
As expected, she replied, "Such as it is."
But it’s better than the dinner I prepared tonight, innit?
Dude, under the circumstances, I think you are entitled to a tantrum. The only problem was your daughter coming home to the mess and freaking out, which by the way, was a perfectly normal reaction. Your friends care about you or they wouldn”t have been there to check up on you. Try and see what others see in you and quit beating yourself up to much.
You haven”t really indicated if you have talked to your kids at all about the situation between you and your wife, and I can”t imagine a good way to approach that, but they have almost certainly noticed a change in the way you and your wife are behaving toward each other. If you have not talked to them, they are probably very confused and afraid to ask questions.
We are keeping the information from family (the kids, my parents, her mom) as long as we can. There”s going to be a whole lot of pain for everyone, and we want to postpone it as long as possible. I especially do not want to add to the stress of Christmas, since we are going to my parents” house this year.
(((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))