So it's been a while since I've been on this site, so long in fact I forgot my user info and had to create a new account. I used to come here for comfort. Comfort that I'm not just a crazy person, that theres other people like me who face the same scenarios that I do. I've been doing okay for a while keeping my panic attacks at bay. Then out of no where last night one hit me hard out of no where. They seem to do that go away for a little while then return with a vengeance. I hate it. It feels like being on a 12 step program then screwing up and having to start all over again. The after math it leaves behind isn't too great either. I'd like to refer to that as a kind of panic attack hang over. It's the feeling you have left after trembling like the AC's on full blast and trying to calm yourself down repeatedly and reassure yourself that you are okay that there's nothing wrong with you it's just a stupid panic attack. No matter how many times you have one and you know in fact what it is, it still doesn't make it much less frightening. Maybe a little but not much. I think the culprit was in the cold medicine I took last night. I didn't realize that the Dextromethorphan hbr (for cough) had that affect one people with anxiety until after the fact. Glad I know that now. I've tried looking for a doctor but not much luck there. I'll continue on my quest for one. I don't think I could stomach taking meds mostly because I'm afraid and not up to conquering that fear. I'm also tired of feeling this way too though. I guess I wont know what I want until I know what my options are. Well I think I'm about done with my ranting for now anyway. I open to any suggestions or help coping and dealing. Taa taa for now.