Just wanted to give everyone an update. I still have anxiety and depression. It just won’t go away. I’m still pretty alone. Still don’t have a girlfriend. I read my old blogpost and it seem for years I blocked out most of this stuff. I haven’t been on here for a couple of years. I’m glad to have read those old posts because it seems like I haven’t changed. I haven’t made much progression in bettering myself. I thought getting my degree and graduating college would help me turn things around but it hasn’t. The anxiety and depression just stay with you. Creep up in your lowest moments. I’m just tired of feeling this way. It’s exhausting. Feeling this way year in and year out. I think it may be time to look forward. As much as I want to look in the past for some answers or regain a certain feeling it I have to move on. Can’t recall ever coming to this conclusion but then again maybe this is why I am the way I am. But I have to move on and meet different people and stop thinking about the people in my past. This will be difficult for me because I care about everyone I have ever come across in my life. I feel like they have significance and an importance that helps you along the way. I appreciate everyone. I wish those people knew that. I have so much love for them. But they have severed ties with me and don’t wish to hear from me again. I love them all, no matter what. And as I reflect on my past i realized that I was a terrible person to them. This is what happens when you deal with anxiety, depression and have so many insecurities. But I have to gain some confidence and know my worth in this world. I will get to where I want to be some day. That day may start today.


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