so my mom ended up having brain surgery. the doctors first thought it was bloodclots in the brain.but later tests showed that it was narrowing arteries behind her left eye. so this past friday they performed a new type of prcedure… but it didnt work. so she has to have another surgery monday.

being in the hospital and being druged up and getting constant fluids has helped my mom gain strength and a lil bit of weight. and she no long smokes so thats good.

but being 76 the fear is that her body wont be able to handle another surgery atempt. so thats where everything stands as of today.

she seems to be in good spirits about all of it. i doubt she will be awake much till tomorrow evening. my sister is my biggest concern. i have done just about everything i can to keep any extra stress off of her. but with me getting more wore out everyday im not sure how much more i can help her. i havent been sleeping or eating. im not sure why. nothing has really hit me just yet. i just kinda feel like im watching all this happen to someone else. ontop of that im getting sick and i might have a bloodclot in my left thigh or a very bad pulled muscle. i plan to get it checked out but not till after this next surgery. cant add anymore problems to anyone in the family.

i also seem to have an issue with feeling guilty. i have this constant feeling that i should be doing more… even when i work all day for my sister so she can be with my mom and then do just about everything i can at night to make things easier for her and everyone else.

guilt is a terrible thing. guess its something i need to work on more.

if you read this keep my mom and the rest of my family in your prayers or at least send some good thoughts this way.

thomas