My family are truly not very nice. Most of them only ever call when THEY want something. never to see how you are, or just general chat. I really hate people like that.

My mother and I are very much the people who simply get called when they want something. Even my mums best (and only really) friend, bascially only calls when she needs something.. Money usually. Its pretty obvious that we are being used. It would be nice for someone to be in contact with us when they DON"T want something. Its like as soon as I know a txt message or a call is from these people, I know they want something, and thats really sad.

Why can’t I just not be used? why can’t I be liked?

My aunt came to visit me in the hosptial when I first attempted my life… the whole time I was thinking that she wasn’t genuine when she said things like "I know how you feel".. or "I’ve been sad like you".. Saying things like that really make be belive that she HASN’T been there. How can I belive her? Honestly. I really hate my family.

I honestly can’t wait till i’m away from all these. Its funny that when I go, i’m going to my "EX" family. My blood uncles former wife and her new partner are going to be my new family. When she was actually "related" to me, We never really talked. It was only during xmas or special occasions that we’d talk. Then the first time I was in the psych ward, she was there. From then on we just clicked. I knew I could trust her. I KNEW that she’d been there. She’d tried to kill herself too. Now we are really close. I can talk to her about anything, and I KNOW she won’t judge me.  I’m looking forward to living with her again. OF course the whole issue of her partner loving me is going to be.. lets say.. awkward… but I really need to get away from this monstrosity of a family.

I told my sister about the move today. She wasn’t too happy, but took it quite well.


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