Before reading here is my blog site again if you want to visit if not that’s fine you:

randombeess.blogspot.com

 

Hello, I’m back I’ll try and make this topic a little less dark than the situation for me actually is. To start with for the past couple of weeks I have been really depressed and been having ” THE THOUGHTS” if you know what I mean. This happens to me about once a month or twice maybe to me there is never a true reason behind it I just suddenly want to stay in the house, not go to school or study, not go to work, and not want to talk to anyone at all I usually also lose my appetite and have to force myself to eat something at least once a day. I also take those hard off-brand flintstone vitamins if you know what I’m talking about then you know. To be honest this whole cycle I’ve been going through sucks but at the same time, I can’t imagine myself any different every time I feel good and normal that feeling of wanting to cry and be alone happens again I literally can not be the only one. My therapist thinks that it may be because of someone like my mom and her alcoholism probably or my dad with his actual illness or something else because those two are the main things I worry about, but that was at the beginning of therapy I’m past that now I care but I care from a distance now. To keep it simple the problem is me I don’t love myself at all I hate myself at the highest level a person can hate themselves I think I know why I hate myself but then again I still can not pinpoint my issues.

This is crazy I’m sixteen going through all of this and I have to think about going to college and the whole six-nine, to be honest, I think I’ve come to terms that I’m going to a community college because my mental health is so bad that trying to study for the SAT and get into a good college is pointless if I can’t get my health together. Guess what I got on my SAT an 880, yep, an 880 11th grade 880 I studied for a whole 3-4 months and got an 880 I also have a GPA of 3.7 did I tell you that a girl who has a GPA of 3.7  has an 880 on her SAT she’s dumb, but that’s true I’m dumb so community college here I come I also live in a poor community so college is really my only way out and my real dream is to become an OB-GYN hopefully I can become one but I don’t think I can. Anyways I got off track, back to me feeling depressed again how will random bee solve her problem idk any suggestion put it down below in the comments. Also, I started a blog on this site that Google has the link is down below if you’re interested at least visit

randombeess.blogspot.com

Byeeeeee- Randombee

 

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