Just a quick post as I'm completely mentally and physically drained and need my sleep desperately. I'm so angry and upset and generally shaken up. There's some big shit kicking off at work, I might potentially lose my job over something I did nearly 2 years ago in all innocence and without meaning any harm. No-one will tell me any detail about whats going on and I'm scared. Also I feel completely stabbed in the back by two people who I feel are just twisting the knife after everything that's happened. I don't have the energy or the patience to go through it all but basically I feel like utter shit. All of today and most of tonight I have been tearful and angry. I feel like I'm drowning in all this pain and no-one can see me or wants to help. I can feel myself circling the drain so to speak, and I'm deliberately avoiding alcohol because I know that a little drink would be all it would take right now to end up back in a very dark place.

My temperature is sky-high and I feel physically ill from all the stress. I don't know what the solution to my problems is and that's the way it is but I NEED to find a way to stay calm about all of this because I can feel my body struggling to cope. I'm scared I'll end up collapsing or something if I can't at least remain calm. Someone recommended Rescue Remedy to me so I might try that. If anyone has any further ideas then please do give them, unfortunately I can't take any time off work just now or anything like that but any short term quick ideas just to keep me on some sort of level would be great. I feel very manic right now.