Everything's been crazy lately. I got out of jail this past November after about a year in. A week later my Mom had a heart attack. She passed on December 26 while I was alone at her house with her. I drank 4 days later, but got right back to the rooms. I live in Southern Maryland where it's pretty quiet, but you can find the noise if you look. And not even that hard. I avoid looking. The roads are long and straight and they all seem to run into some type of water. Recently there's been lotsa dead skunks by the roads and if you don't see them you can at least smell them. My roommate had been taking like a million painkillers a day since January, and everytime I went home, which was not that often, my guts were in knots because I didn't know what new madness I was gonna find that day. I finally got the balls to walk away this past Friday, not knowing where I was gonna go or gonna do. I went to a meeting that night and a friend offered to loan me money to get a room for a week till I could work something out. The next day my boss gave me a promotion, and offered to talk to a landlord at an apartment right next to my job that he knows well and put a good word in for me. Not too many good words were said about me for a long time. Then he gave me his car so I could visit my brothers who I havn't seen since shortly after my Mom's funeral. I got to hold my baby neice (that's her, Maya, in my photo). And my 5 year old neice read me a Dr. Suess book, and I read her 'Where the Wild Things Are'. Then my brother, who's handling my Mom's estate, fronted me money so I could afford to get some place decent, and get furniture and stuff. The blessings are falling all over me so fast that I'm almost afraid, ya know? Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly though, right? I'm overwhelmed, but for the first time in my life I have the urge to keep moving forward. I feel my Mom's presence and her encouragement. I've gotten so much help and support that I have no choice but to keep on. Well, that's wrong, there's always a choice, but I am higher right now than I can ever remember being, and I think I'm starting to become addicted in a weird way to doing right. Not neccessarily good, but right. If that makes sense. Wish me luck!:bowl:


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