What happened to that sweet kid who once placed you on a pedestal? In what seems like an overnight occurrence, your teenager has morphed into a snarky, mean brat. What happened? And why do they seem to save the worst of their bad attitudes specifically for the parents? Read on to learn about the causes of a teenager being mean to their parents.

6 Reasons Why Teens are So Mean to their Parents

As much as it hurts to acknowledge this, the lofty perch that parents once occupied in their child’s life is largely displaced in favor of their friends once the child becomes a teenager. As painful as it can be to have your teen sassing you back, cutting you down, or downright behaving hateful toward you, there are some common reasons for this change in attitude:

1. Individuation. The teen phase of development features something called individuation, which is when they transition from being a “kid” to being their own individual person. Part of that process usually involves the teen behaving as an independent adult and rejecting the parent.
2. Hormones. Adolescence is a tumultuous time, fueled in a significant way by their changing hormones. Hormonal fluctuations cause moodiness, which can translate to rude behavior toward parents.
3. Brain changes. The teen brain is growing and developing, especially in the region where executive functions are regulated. During puberty, these functions, such as emotion regulation and judgment, are still in development, which can result in impulsivity and emotional swings.
4. Resentment. Teenagers go from idolizing their parents to seeing them as flawed humans, which can cause them to feel some resentment. They start to resent being told what they can and can’t do by an imperfect parent. For teens with working parents, resentment can arise if the teen feels their parents are not available for them.
5. Taking cues from peers. The teen years are marked by the heightened status of peers. Teens like to fit in and be accepted by their peers, so they may take cues from how their friends treat their parents, and then emulate bad behavior.
6. A mental health issue. A teen may come across to parents as irritable and rude, but there may be a reason for it. Teen depression, anxiety, or substance abuse can cause the teen to exhibit irritability, agitation, mood swings, or persistent low mood. A mental health challenge may also cause sleep disruption, which can result in troubled teens.

While most of us clearly remember being rude to our own parents during our high school years, the good news is that it usually passes by the age of eighteen. However, if you believe your teen is dour because of depression or substance abuse, do not hesitate to have the teen assessed by a mental health professional that works specifically with teenagers.

By Dr. Arastou Aminzadeh, Adolescent Psychiatrist and founder of BNI Treatment Centers.