Well here goes….I moved to this state because the only family I had was my mom and this is where she lived. I did meet my wonderful husband here, but I really would love to have more friends. I am not a veryoutgoing person so it is very hard for me to meet people. I actually met my husband online.

I have met some people, but seems like they never have time for me, give me all kinds of excuses, and that makes me very sad, then sadness turns into madness. I'm not posessive, just that it hurts to be lied to and put off all the time.

I didn't have to much trouble before, but I became disabled about 9 years ago and sufferend a super bad bout of depression. My husband has been disabled all his life and tried to keep my spirits up, but it really didn't work. But I thought things got better even though about the only time we really went someplace was to go visit his family, my mom, or to go shopping.

My mom pased away and that really sent me into a super bad time. I just didn't want to do anything or go anywhere. And seems like things just haven't really improved since then.

I had stopped taking all my meds and haven't taken anything for depression for over 7 years now, but told the hubby that I am going to talk to the dr when I go this next week, as all the feelings are really playing havoc for things in my life.

I am not sure if it is just depression or what all is going on. I hurt more then usual, and at times I can be fine, then something happens and I just get super irate. Then after that happens, I just cry like a big baby, and feel everything in live is my fault.

I just want to feel "normal" again, whatever that might be. I am hoping that the dr can give me something to help me. I know it isn't something that is gonna fix things over night. Just something that will help to fix the feeling of ending things all in one night.