Everyday, I sit in class rooms with the same people, hearing the same gossip, hearing the same hate thrown by those who don’t know that I have it bad not just at school but home. I don’t usually open to things like this but then again I’ve never had support groups. People tend to forget that words hurt, even if it’s just in the moment of anger, they hurt. Emotional abuse HURTS just as much as physical. I feel like no one understands me even though I know they do, I have friends who have been hurt the same or more then me and I still feel like I could die and it wouldn’t matter.

Some people at school were talking about cutting and how they felt like those who do it are weak and just want attention. They are WRONG! People who cut then wear short sleeves are asking for attention or maybe just want people to WANT to be help, see if anyone cares enough. I am not one of those people. I cut and hide it. Because I am ashamed and know that people would hate me more if I killed myself and hate that I was selfish. I don’t want to kill myself. I don’t think so anyways. I just want my demons to stop feeding on whatever soul I have left. But everyday I feel more and more empty, like they ARE actually feeding off of it. Maybe they are…

I have a wall that cuts people off from seeing the real me. My own parents think they know me but just see the shell. That’s all they’ve known, and all they will see. I don’t know. I hate people certain people. People, humans, beings, are varibles that don’t need to be there. No one needs to do things to people, we need to do things for people.

Until the next Blog…

1 Comment
  1. delane 4 years ago

    MUSIClub101, i can definitely understand the cutting–hiding it–hiding your true self from others–and more. You are definitely NOT alone, here. Please, continue to write, vent, etc.

    1 kudos

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