Well, I figure I would write the reasons why I joined this site. I am nine and half months pregnant and ready to pop any day. And I have suffered from depression the whole pregnancy. Between two good friends killing themselfs, loosing my job, havinga miscarriage, and just other everyday crap that seems to get me down, it's an everyday battle just to get out of bed.

So here I sit, wondering how long I can go on like this. Wanting to go run my car into a concrete wall, walking into the ob-gyn office and blowing my brains out. Now I have asked for help, even went to the hospital but was turned away and told to go to out patient care cause I am pregnant.It was hard enough to even go to the hospital the first time and ask for help, but now I am suppose to take myself to another place and request help. Pfft yeah right.

So I have told my family, I have told my doctor, I have told my boyfriend, and my one friend and have been blown off by all of them. My parents when I told them I was having a rough time, just said 'oh I thought you were stronger than that." My doctor after telling him I wanted to jump off the roof, said " oh well you are pregnant, if it gets worse we will worry then." The boyfriend actually did drive me to the hospital and did sit with me, which was nice. But was suppose to drive me to the outpatient care place the next morning, got ill and was admited to the hospital. Now that he is better and I mention taking me says he can't miss any work. My one friend I told is in Afganistan and after I sent her and email telling her the urges I had, just wrote and email back acting like I hadn't said anything at all, like I was mention the weather.

So here I am, I figure I would try this….maybe get understanding from people that actually know how it feels.