OK. At an AA meeting (A Big Book reading one) the other night which is full of tightass suburbanites…. wait/ not fair; but listen…

2 different guys (newcomers) came in; one was a large, very drunk native guy and the other a quivering white guy who held off drinking for four hours just to make it to a meeting. I know these people as I sometimes go to this 'sedate' meeting myself.(not often)  This is 2nd hand info from my boyfriend but displays a really disappointing occurrence I have witnessed in some meetings before.

No one acknowledged these two guys. One was a little 'noisy' and my guy took him out to tell him to keep it down or he'd have to leave (he did keep quiet after that) and the other guy had his hand up to speak and was crying. At the beginning of every meeting the question is usually asked "if there are any newcomers?", not this time,  and the 'chair' actually turned his chair away from the men. He never let this one guy speak until the end and he expressed how he didn't know how to stop drinking and was afraid.What a bum group to stumble into!! A bunch of navel gazing fuckheads, (I'm getting angry again and I had 'let this go') so… after the meeting only 3 out of 12 men signed the newcomer's package and illegibly, except for my guy (I am not making him sound like too much of a saint here am I?  and if I am, I'm sorry, he is to me.) He's worked with homeless people and what is known as (god-forbid) wet drunks and active addicts!

So the big native guy got his package after the f–ing chair had to be told to pass it around; (scrawled numbers again) and he looked at it, drunk as he was and said,"What's this… I can't make out the names or numbers"…. My guy (the 'saint'… sorry) saw this and who had scribbled on it and …. I am plum disgusted!!! Doesn't everyone know what we were like that horrible first meeting when we were so scared that anything would scare us away?

Our purpose is to get well in order to help the addict/alcoholic who still suffers no matter how revolting it is to us to watch someone puking their guts out and make a coffee for them or… just talk, FFS!

I am getting harassed by my cat … really! Just as well cause I am getting angry all over again…. whewph. I'm going to feed him.

But I'll just try to say that it is an honor to be able to help someone who is asking for help and I am ashamed at AA/NA for allowing this to happen. The guy never called the only legible number and didn't show up to the other meeting to meet… my boyfriend; that is so NOT the point. Whenever anyone reaches out for help I wany the "hand of AA to be there"…

The reading was Dr. Bob's Nightmare. Ha.