Why??? Why do I have to have a job that I hate and run out of my meds???

 

Today is a bad day. I just want to scream and cry and curl up in a ball and hope I can fall asleep and maybe I\'ll feel better when I wake up. It\'s not like I can call in to work because I have run out of sick time and can\'t afford to call in, but I\'m just done at this point. I try sooo hard every day just to make it thru my shift because I know when I call in and don\'t get paid it makes our financial situation harder and I can\'t do the finances myself because of my anxiety with money and so my boyfriend takes care of our money for me. I don\'t want to cause him any additional stress on top of having a crazy girlfriend but I\'m just sooooo soooo soooo done. I guess it doesn\'t help that in my house I don\'t have any space for myself, my bedroom is also my boyfriend\'s office, and my office is a room that is between the back door and the garage/laundry room. And we have one roommate right now. So… I need a quiet space where I can sit and relax. I need my own meditation room or something…. It would probably help if I could find a therapist worth going to locally.

 

I wish I had some coping skills but I also wish that life could just be easier. It\'s always on my mind that when visiting my parents or brothers that someone will inevitably be saying something about me not going to church anymore, but I don\'t believe what they believe and for some reason they can\'t just let it go. I just want to give up today.

 

Blah. That\'s how I feel.

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