Well, last time I wrote it was about my FM flare and how bad it was.  Today it has let up some, my skin and muscles are still tender to the touch but not like they were the last 7 days.  I've noticed memory problems which is part of FM too but when the flare is all gone that will be better too, not good but better.  Over the weekend I picked up my grandson when he'd fallen asleep in the chair and took him to his bed and I twisted and pulled a muscle that has been pulling on my spine and I can't take a deep breath without jumping with pain so now  I have that on top of the flare.

Now that the flare is easing up and I'm on the downhill battle for some reason today I've just been crying all day.  I don't know why maybe because the trip I was going on got delayed till next month, maybe it's because my parents aren't doing well and could go at any time, maybe it's a release from the flare easing up but when I'm crying I know I'm feeling sorry for myself.  This depression, stress and worrying has beat me down to crying.  I want to go turn on the shower and just sit there and let it pour down on me and I truly think that would make me feel better but with watching my grandson I can't until he goes to bed and I have to hurry in case he wakes up while I'm in there.  Seems anything I plan or want to do gets messed up.  I don't feel like nor do I want to do anything.  I find myself sitting and flipping thru the tv stations not really noticing what's on, listening for my older grandson and waiting to feed the baby and rock him to sleep…..I don't know how I even do that.  I'm so tired of all this stress because of financial problems, worrying for my parents and the depression that the body pain, stress and worrying causes.  Ok I'll stop rambling just needed to talk.


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