Hello Tribe ! I have missed you dearly! I am using my son's school iPad, it's TINY! We came to McDonald's to get away from home. 'Things' are still the same. Tonight I cooked a HUGE meal, he ate, grunted thanks or something and went to the mancave. So my youngest and I took off. He's PSP-ing and listening to his music thing…iPod. I love this electronic tech crap, he sings out loud when he wears the earbuds, happy children with music leaking out of them make me smile. I recently read the book ESCAPE by Carolyn Jessop, she's the Latter Day Saints person, big news just a few years ago. Amazing how similar abusive controlling people can be and yet be sooo different. The people she ran from played the exact games with her head, the same hateful spiteful powerplays over people's money, sex life, children, clothing, transportation, food, medical, just everything. And MY situation was completely devoid of religion. Her's was all in the name of religion. She did get to finish college. I didn't. I gotta figure out what I can do for money. We can't keep living like this. We gotta go. I just hate every oppressive minute. I also want to quit one of my medicines. I see the doctor on Monday and I'm gonna ask. The one he wants me to quit is supposed to be bad for your heart, citalopram. That's the only one that ever made me feel any better. The second, cymbalta, sucks. It makes me bitchy and I hate it. Also, we almost had Spring, my crocus came up through the snow/ice and bloomed as usual, but just as the last of the plow's snow piles were disappearing, we got a new two day blizzard and we're buried again. Can you believe it?! We had a snowday in MAY!! Crazy. At this rate, we'll be gardening in hats and mittens! OH!! HUGE news: awhile back I got my daughter and I each a cool notebook, it's smalll and the cover looks like old leather. I write down my thoughts, wants and wishes. I found it in the car, thought it fell out of my purse, where I keep it for privacy's sake, but I opened it to a page about being gay. I had accidently found my daughter's, she must've had it in her school bag. So now do I act surprised when she comes out to me? I guess it's not a big surprise, I half expected it, but I didn't expect to have this creepy feeling about myself for opening what I thought was my book. Guilt. But relief. She has figured herself out. I'm almost kind of excited for her. She should tell me, then we can have her a coming out party!!!Well, she's told her book, I wonder how long til I know? Like, officially. Maybe I should just admit that I saw it. Not sure. I want her to feel ready for me to know. But I don't like my shameful mistake being a secret either. Me and my little man are gonna go pick a movie to rent. G'nite tribe. Not sure when I'll get to come back, so everyone take good care.


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