Yesterday I attended a group meeting in which included the VP and managers of the corperation I work for. This was a diversity meeting that meant I had to at minuim introduce myself (name, job, how long, likes etc). When I was told a few weeks ago that I was picked to attend this meeting I just wanted to die! And as the time got closer my stomach was in knots. I knew I didn't do well in social gatherings and especially if they included authority figures so I was completely sick of the thought. I wanted to so badly not to attend this meeting for fear that I knew I would be totally uncomfortable and that if I had to speak I would make a complete and utter fool of myself! Well I got to the meeting and to make this short the first thing we had to do in this large group of about 30 people, had to introduce ourselves. As we went around the room one by one, I tried to calm myself and think of what I was going to say, I listened to how everyone in ther express themselves so well  and I just became more afraid because I knew when my time came around I would not remember anything to say and I wouldn't make any since! My time to speak came around, no I did not pass out from a panic attack, cry  or run out of the room but I do feel that I made a complete fool of myself, I felt like a freaking inmature fool that can't talk and I'm 48 freaking years old!!! I was told that I did good but I know they only said that because they knew how extremely nervous I was…while speaking I went as far as telling this qroup of people "how extremely shy I was and how I didn't do well in group settings". How stupid is that!! Anyway that episode led me to the internet to do some research on "Social Anxiety" and ran across this site and thought I would stop in to see if there was any viable support.  I just have to get out of this bondage, I know that there is such a big  part of me that want out, want to be freed of this debilitating hold!!