Uncle Rich was planning on coming home tonight, mom told me 3 times today that she is not going out and now I just found out she is planning to and now uncle rich made plans so I dont even no if he is going to come back

I\'m so sick of being sick, for awhile the anxiety was doing good, but now I am home alone again and I am having a really hard time dealing with it. I am praying that god helps me to help myself so I dont need to depend on others to be there for me and that I can be there for myself

I hate myself so much for being this way, The people who I feel should be helping me are hurting me I am soo mad right now because I am hurt and I was lied to I dont no what else to do I am hanging on by a tread it feels like I am about to loose control! I dont no how to get others to see and feel what I am going though I need help and I asked for it and I am being turned down and turning there back on me I am scared for mysel. it is feeling like even uncle rich is getting annoyed with me and avoiding. Both of them told me that I am interfearing with there lives and blameing me for the way that I am and the help I have asked upon them. I might end up in the hospital soon the sad part is I dont think I belong there, when I am not in those situations I am okay, I mean I feel okay and I feel normal but then when I am I am reminded that I am not okay and I am not normal.  and things were looking up but I can\'t adapt to these changes and they can\'t adapt to me so I don\'t no what else to do, I\'m off my depression meds and right now that is not a good thing for me