he said i come off as an idiot. that he thinks i'm an idiot. that i'm almost 20, to stop acting like a baby and grow up. but this is just me. most people view me like that because i trust in people. and have a generally positive outlook on live. but i can't help that. so what if i was sheltered. i've had a bunch of things go wrong in my life. but i still hope for a better tomorrow. and yes, i believe that people are generally good. i can't help that. i'll prolly always be like that. i'm sorry that it upsets you so much. i miss our good days. and i know that it's summer so we are both doing badly. but i can't take that with only a month left to go, we might end. only one month. i know i'm failing you. that i'm annoying at the moment and very clingy and needy. but i won't always be like this. it's just summer. i know i can get better. just give me a chance please. i am giving up everything for you. and i want it to work. i want us to be together. i would like for the moment i step off the plane in august, that we forget all about the summer and sort of start anew. why not? what do we have to lose. we've almost made it a year. i new it would be bad. it's the 11 month. but once this month is over. you'll see. it will be alot better. i know it will. just one more month and it'll be ok. please dove. don't give up now. i love you so much and i can't lose you to our illnesses. it's not us. just push through it for one month and i promise it will be better. you'll see.