Dear Kerligirl13,
A.k.a: Jessica Slaughter or Jessica Leonhardt I thank you for the videos you made. I thank you for telling people to get AIDS and die. I thank you for your trolling, and I thank you for your swearing.
I spent three weeks unemotionless in my room unable to feel motivated about anything. If she hadn't snapped me out of my daze, I'm not sure if I'd be alive right now, or at least awake. I wouldn't have plans. I wouldn't have told myself to get up and do something.
I have never raged so hard in my life, especially towards someone in a video. A stranger, an 11 year old girl that I don't know…And yet. That rage snapped me out of a dream-like-state, it was the most emotiong I'd felt in a while. And maybe that's why I'm so obsessed with her.
After her account on Youtube was hacked by someone in Finland, her videos were deleted. Because I was so obsessed, I had downloaded her videos, and now I've uploaded her videos, too. And though I was one of those first to add her videos, it's not as popular as others…{I suppose because the other 2 more popular uploads were posted on blogs and connected straight to 4chan accounts.] But my videos…! Or, more correctly, her videos! Their popularity is increasing!
Some people think it's ME in the video e_e because they can't bother to read the description or use common sense…but…it feels good. But…sooner or later, I have to get out of this obsession with this person, get back to reality, and focus on my life as well.
OH! That's reminded me. I messaged a senior at a neighboring school about volunteering information [because she was recommended], and she never replied. e_e But. I guess I'll have to look around. Bringing the subject to jobs, my mom said that if I can get a job, I can have it, and I haven't been trying all along, so that's my fault. Though she's the one who rejected the idea of looking for jobs. And apparently 15 year olds "can't get jobs". AUGH. Her views are so twisted when it comes to…several things, the lowest age for part time jobs in this town is for 14 year olds. Many people in my class already [entering sophomore year] already have jobs, at 15 years old.
Onto the subject of driving…My mother also stated that she's afraid my rage will end up making a driver beat the shit out of me. Thing is, I only get angered easily when it comes to preteens, narcissist and conceited men, ignorant people, and my parents. When a driver cuts me off because I'm [my mom's] going too slow, I don't freak out. Because they saw a [sometimes slim] opportunity to get ahead on the road, that's up to them. Many people over here suck at driving and drive like idiots. If they want to endanger someone's life by taking a wrong turn or such, that's their responsibility in the end. And in a semismall town like this, it's not as easy to find people that'll drag you out of your car, break your face, ribs, legs, and ditch the scene like my mother thinks.
Since I'm typing to myself, it seems like as if Depression Tribe has become my new ranting journal.
HA, JUST CHECKED 😀 In the last 5 hours, I've gotten over 900 profile views on Youtube. Wow.
Have a wonderful day!
15 years ago, Disneyland opened in California. 1830 years ago, the earliest recorded execution of Christians in North Africa was recorded. 13 years ago, the F.W.Woolworth company closed, after 117 years.
Whoo! July 17th!
