overwhelmed with everything lately. the house, the kids, my husband. I feel like i'm sinking & drowning & all anyone else is doing is holding my head under water. he doesn't seem to realize the severity of how i'm feeling, despite me describing how I feel to him in great detail, every time I fall apart when he's home he hears about it. if he's at work i email or message him or let him know when he gets home that i've been having a difficult time. I feel like he just blows me off, I say I want to see someone for help & he doesn't do anything to help me make it happen, i tell him to remind me to take my supplements, to remind me to eat he doesn't remember. he works late almost every day, he's been working more & more weekends. I feel like he's avoiding me, purposely trying to drive me batty, but I know it's not true. he just got a new position not too long ago, they are working on a few big projects & having issues, he's trying for another promotion. I get so lonely when he's not here, but then so annoyed with him when he is here because I feel like he's not helping me with anything.
I have no one else. I stay home with the kids, I have no friends or family in the area. who am i kidding, i have no friends at all besides my husband. I try so hard to make connections with people, but it seems I'm just unlikable & they all abandon me anyways.
I try to make time for myself, I try to take care of myself, but I just don't care enough anymore. i'm underweight normally, i struggle with body image & weight. i've lost 4 pounds in the last few days. i try to make time for myself to do some yoga because it relaxes me & makes me feel like i'm doing something right for me for once, but I rarely can get to it. I drag through the motions of my life. I don't know where to go from here. I had kinda given up even trying to be happy & just been satisfied with making it through each day, even if I feel like a zombie. I stumbled into this site, I have hope that I will find something helpful here, although I am always nervous to get too hopeful for anything because I always feel like the higher I get my hopes up, the worse I'll get disappointed, so I just try hard not to get to excited about anything, no matter how sure it is, just in case.
i also have the same problem with people just abandoning me. You should keep trying to get to yoga.
remember its' not anything that your doing that's wrong (from the sounds of this blog anyway) but it's what your NOT doing that leaves you here (same with me). Keep reminding yourself that you deserve what you want and go for it. No one can make your step but you.