overwhelmed with everything lately. the house, the kids, my husband. I feel like i'm sinking & drowning & all anyone else is doing is holding my head under water. he doesn't seem to realize the severity of how i'm feeling, despite me describing how I feel to him in great detail, every time I fall apart when he's home he hears about it. if he's at work i email or message him or let him know when he gets home that i've been having a difficult time. I feel like he just blows me off, I say I want to see someone for help & he doesn't do anything to help me make it happen, i tell him to remind me to take my supplements, to remind me to eat he doesn't remember. he works late almost every day, he's been working more & more weekends. I feel like he's avoiding me, purposely trying to drive me batty, but I know it's not true. he just got a new position not too long ago, they are working on a few big projects & having issues, he's trying for another promotion. I get so lonely when he's not here, but then so annoyed with him when he is here because I feel like he's not helping me with anything.
I have no one else. I stay home with the kids, I have no friends or family in the area. who am i kidding, i have no friends at all besides my husband. I try so hard to make connections with people, but it seems I'm just unlikable & they all abandon me anyways.
I try to make time for myself, I try to take care of myself, but I just don't care enough anymore. i'm underweight normally, i struggle with body image & weight. i've lost 4 pounds in the last few days. i try to make time for myself to do some yoga because it relaxes me & makes me feel like i'm doing something right for me for once, but I rarely can get to it. I drag through the motions of my life. I don't know where to go from here. I had kinda given up even trying to be happy & just been satisfied with making it through each day, even if I feel like a zombie. I stumbled into this site, I have hope that I will find something helpful here, although I am always nervous to get too hopeful for anything because I always feel like the higher I get my hopes up, the worse I'll get disappointed, so I just try hard not to get to excited about anything, no matter how sure it is, just in case.