I'm new to all this and don't know how this is suppose to go but I'm just gonna lay it out there to be seen. I'm very new to this site but I have a feeling that no matter what I say, it won't make anyone run and hide, they won't be discouraged or fed up with "me" or tired of hearing the "poor me" kind of conversation.

I'm currently going through a divorce…again….for the second time and I was the one that called it quits but I'm the one that seems to be hurting. I feel abandoned by him cause he already filled my shoes with another woman a week after I left. I feel like I didn't matter or that I was only being used to keep him from being lonely or to have a maid. I feel hurt deeply….In fact so deeply that I haven't felt the physical heart hurt since my first marriage ended.

I'm having a hard time understanding why I feel this way when it was me that left him because he didn't care about his appearance, how he acted, how he treated people. I know I am sooo much better off now and I love being around my family, the kids, and the grand babies.

I have my space again. He was so smothering. I couldn't go anywhere without him being by my side and he didn't want to go anywhere without me. I was being smothered by him. And that is how it has been for three years up until I left just after Christmas.

Just want help to get over feeling this way and I think talking about it with people will help. My normal friends are burnt out or don't want to talk about it or are too busy with their own lives…….help save me!