When I was going out with my last girlfriend I started to write a book with just stuff we had done, tickets stuck in it, photos and stuff, a kind of scrap book I guess. Well around new years she left me but we stayed friends, I hadn't finished the book yet but also wasn't in the mood to write any more, so I made some notes on everything I would have put in there and left it. Today I decided to finish it so I could give it to her as a friend, I was writting stuff in it about some stuff we had done before we broke up and it was fine, the I got to the last time I saw her before we broke up, we had to have nearly 2 months appart, we were leaving London on the underground, we had to get off at seperate stops, hers before mine. In the past when this happens We'd quickly say goodbye on the train, then I'd run off behind her, hug her and say a proper goodbye, this time the underground was very busy and we had had a hard time getting on the train anyway, so i decided I would just stay on the train this time or I might miss my next train. But little did I know at the time that waving to her through the train window as it pulled away would be the last time I'd see her as a couple. Writing that we went home that day has really upset me, some people might think that that's silly, but I find it very upsetting that not only did I not know I where I would be about a month and 1/2 later, but that the one time I didn't jump off to say goodbye properly also ended up being the last time.
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i think i might have bpd, but no one’s taking me seriously
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