Okay so this is my first blog ever, I guess that’s a statement of how desperate I am beginning to feel. I am anemic and no matter what I do I can’t seem to maintain my iron levels so that I can feel rested. I get enough sleep, probably to much and yet I am always sooooo tired. The ocd wears on my mind so much it hurts. I have issues with germs and cleanliness. I need things to be were I left them in the exact way. I can spend 20 minutes rearranging the kitchen cupboard because when I went to get the honey it wasn’t where I wanted it. Normally this is managable as my family is very good about most things, but a new person to the house has added confusion. I am tring so hard but he has been here a week and in some ways I can feel I am losing it. It was okay at first. I think it changed when he ate my leftover calzone I had in the fridge. Just the thought of someone eating the balance of another persons takeout was weird to me. Doesn’t he get that I touched that food? I had taken a piece and was enjoing it when he came out of his room and commented on how good it was. I went in the bathroom and threw up. He touched my food!!! I want my food to be safe, now it’s questionable. I probably am being unreasonable, but I am beginning to question his being here as a good thing or not. I need a safety zone in my home and he is treading lightly around my edges and making me feel so tense.
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Thanks Buffster for the support, now I just have to iron things out, easier said than done. I feel my feelings are real now and not that it’s just the ocd talking. Thanks for helping me feel validated.