This past week, my mother told me father that "she wasn't happy with him anymore."  Since then, I my OCD and DEPRESSION (which has just began settling in), have spiraled out of control.  My mother can't afford to move out or anything, and niether can my dad, so both are still living at home….but damn its painful to be around them.  My dad looks heart broken all the time, and thats enough to set me into a deep depression, not to mention trying to adjust to my mother and this ICE QUEEN she's turned into….my mother has transformed into someone I don't know, over the past year.  She used to be MY PILLAR OF STRENGTH that I had to lean on when I was DEAD inside ( like now) and had NO HOPE…and now that woman is gone, and I have this stone cold bitch who only seems to be absorbed in her own life where she goes out every night with her friends, drinks, dances, and parties, while my father stays home, sits on the couch, and watches TV, until 1 am, when she stumbles in.  She is going through menopause, so I'm hoping that this will pass, and I'll have my mother back again, my family back again.

I have my boyfriend, who is THE love of my life, and who my OCD centers around, and since all this happened with my parents, my OCD about him has TAKEN OFF, in all directions….I am a constant mess, I can't stop crying and wanting to die, and I'm constantly convinced that he WILL leave me within a few days or weeks, becuase he can't deal with how miserable I've been becuase of my parents…we've ben together for a year now, so he knows all about my OCD, but right now, I'm at a point, where I feel like I'll never return to normal…and I afraid he feels that way too….I just had to talk to you guys…it feels good to have someone to talk to…or just hoping that someone will read this whole thing, just having someone to listen…Please God, help me