My name is cynthia friends call me cindy. Ive been in and out of meeting rooms since 1995 and in inpatient psych wards 6 times until recently in sept at fremont hospital. Im a chronic meth user smoking it is preferred. Today i have 8 hrs clean again ive been in recovery for a stint of time then back out to relapse. Im so sick of this madness n how lonely i feel during n after come down. Just recently in sept i tried to commit suicide again took 40 prescription pills n off i went for a psych stay. I let the using get really out of control back in 2003-2006 i broke apart my marriage to the love of my life n in 2006 i developed stage 3 breast cancer they removed both breasts. As if that was not enough i ran around with a loser guy n he helped me spend my retirement acct oh n gave me ecstacy pills while i was on chemo i finally got fed up n broke off the relations i found myself in the meeting rooms again had 2 sponsors n was in a fabulous ride of my life for 9 years….i then in 2014 lost my mother n i was ok but still drinking in 2017 i decided i could use a little at a time nope my desease came back in full force. Ive been using since then but managed to taper it waaay down still no success to try n quit. I forgot to mention above that me n my ex husband reconciled and have been living together since 2014. When i decided to go back to drugging i made some horrible mistakes like cheat on my exhusband you see we were in a relationship. I met some thug about 23 yrs younger than me n he broke me in ma ny ways. He n i were like oil n water but i still financed him n bought his drinks n ciggs n gas…things got out of control n he threatened me with telling my ex everything about us. I got scared did the damaging right think n told chuck myself. This other man could not break apart my family as i live with 2 older daughters n 5 grandkids. Chuck n i are talking now even laughing but it will take time to heal what ive done. Now today im desparate to share my story in a nutshell, im more deparate to find recovery again.
-
Keytags
jjrocksarizona, , Addiction, 0
KEYTAGS White – The international color of surrender. The suggestion with this key tag is to tape 50 cents...
-
I hate my life, but i love life in general?
AbstractZz, , Addiction, Addiction, Anger, Anxiety, Career, Child, Domestic Abuse, Grief, Medication, Schizophrenia, Sleep Disorders, Stress, 1
Hi. this is going to be written mainly so i don't feel so crappy so i'm going to go...
-
Moved again
AbstractZz, , Addiction, Questions, Relationships, 0
so i moved to indianapolis today….. and like my about me section on my profile says….i try so hard...
-
Penny Miracles
CharlieG, , Addiction, Addiction, Anger, Anxiety, Career, Child, Spirituality, 0
Penny Miracles By CharlieG I'm writing this while sitting on a 5th floor, outdoor smoking patio, ...
-
Today is over….
KizzyT31, , Addiction, Anxiety, 0
Just read the responses to my last blog about the drugs, I know you are all right, i know...
-
Rocking Recovery
jjrocksarizona, , Addiction, Addiction, Questions, Sex Therapy, Spirituality, 0
so as most of my brothers and sisters here know i am pretty hard nosed when it comes to...
-
Complacency is a Bi**h
detroitmike, , Addiction, Addiction, Career, Relationships, Spirituality, 1
I just moved back home from Tampa FL. I am srtuggeling with the meetings here in Detroit. I...
-
I don’t know what this is but I figured, it’s worth a shot
Vivianna.nicole, , Addiction, Addiction, Anxiety, Bipolar, Career, Child, Depression, Domestic Abuse, Questions, 1
I don’t know exactly where to start. My name is Viv I’m a mother of 3 kids in a...